From the time Lisa was a little girl, she knew that if she ever needed anything—anything at all—her dad would be there.
If she had a stomachache at school, he’d drop everything, even close his local Catawba County barbershop, and drive straight over to get her. If Lisa or her brother Walt asked for help, their father had just the advice that pointed them in the right direction. That’s the kind of man Harvey Settelmyre was: always present, always reliable, and always selfless.
Even as life pulled their family into different locations, they never truly grew apart. Lisa became a nurse, earned her master’s in nursing education, and then earned a PhD in Nursing Leadership, eventually working as a clinical nurse manager and educator. Her brother Walt became an EMS responder and moved to Texas. But no matter the distance, they always found their way back to each other. Especially when it counted.
A few years ago, when their father was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and the early signs of Alzheimer’s, it was Lisa who saw what was ahead. She’d spent over 30 years in healthcare. She had seen decline before. But understanding the diagnosis and symptoms was different when it happened to her dad.
Shortly after Harvey’s diagnosis, Walt moved his family back from Texas, and Lisa, who worked from home, arranged to provide Harvey with around-the-clock care. Lisa would stay with Harvey and her stepmother during the day, and Walt would stay with his father each night. Though it was difficult to rearrange their daily routine, they remembered that their father had always built his life around family. It only made sense that family would now build their lives around him.
The family created a tight-knit team. Walt’s significant other held a professional nursing background, and Lisa’s daughter worked locally as an EMT. At first, Harvey was able to manage his symptoms and continue the hobbies he enjoyed. However, when Harvey’s condition saw rapid decline, he had to be admitted to the hospital.
When the hospital referred Harvey to Carolina Caring, Lisa felt a hint of hope. She wasn’t afraid of the word “Hospice”. Her mother, who passed away just one year prior to her father’s hospitalization, had been a patient of Carolina Caring’s palliative medicine and hospice programs. And Lisa’s husband, who bravely battled liver cancer through the COVID-19 pandemic, had received care from another hospice provider before his passing in 2021.
To Lisa, Hospice did not mean giving up; it meant giving her father the compassionate care that would keep him comfortable and at peace for the rest of his life.
After having conversations with Walt, Harvey, and her stepmother, it was decided that Harvey would receive hospice care from Carolina Caring, but he would remain in the comfort of his own home.
Carolina Caring made that possible. Two days after leaving the hospital, Harvey was admitted into hospice—and for the months that followed, Lisa and her family were no longer alone in the care journey.
Lisa diligently followed the orders of the hospice nurses but never had to carry the burdens of caregiving alone. Harvey had a comprehensive care team: Nurse Julie, who answered every question and addressed Harvey’s physical needs; Lynn (also known by patients and staff as “Elvis”), who brightened Harvey’s day each time she walked through the door; and social workers, physicians, and countless others who treated their father not just as a patient, but as a person. The care team would come to the house to help bathe him, sit with him, and listen to his stories. They managed his symptoms and respected his personal wishes.
“Dad looked forward to the time he spent with his care team,” Lisa says. “I just cannot say enough positive things about Carolina Caring and the staff, because they are so attentive to their patients’ needs.”
Lisa’s father was a reverent man, so it was important that Carolina Caring helped meet his spiritual needs as well as physical ones. It was a heartwarming day when Carolina Caring arranged the pastor of Harvey’s church, Old St. Paul’s Lutheran, to make a home visit. Harvey was able to spend quality time in spiritual reflection alongside a familiar face.
Springtime came, and Harvey’s condition began to change. Lisa will never forget the day before Memorial Day—May 26th, 2024—when she arrived to the house and noticed changes in her father’s breathing. She called her brother, her daughter, and the team at Carolina Caring to notify them that Harvey was about to pass.
“It meant a lot to us that we were able to keep my father at home,” Lisa shares. “I don’t think many people realize that hospice is not where you go to die or where you’ll be forgotten about. You have so many options for care.”
In addition to compassionate care for Harvey, Carolina Caring extended bereavement and grief counseling services to family members such as Lisa’s sweet stepmother, who, at 89 years old, remains living independently at home.
Though the process of losing her father was one of the most difficult moments of her life, Lisa felt comforted by a few things. First, she was able to sit with her father and remain with him every waking moment. She also knew that Carolina Caring would be there to listen to her needs and meet her wherever she was in the grieving process. Most importantly, Lisa’s father never needed to go to a facility or a hospice house; he was able to remain in a familiar home with his wife and daughter by his side.
Now, a year later, Lisa finds peace in the quiet moments, flipping through old photo albums, recalling happy memories. The same man who once rushed out of his barbershop at the drop of a hat to comfort his little girl was surrounded by that same love and devotion when he needed it most.
That is why Carolina Caring exists: to foster compassionate care for all families facing the most difficult times of their lives.
